I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
