Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
