their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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