Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
