For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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