trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
