Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
