Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
