Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm both gender and math confused
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
