You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
