Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
