can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
