this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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