At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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