Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The air taste purple.
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