does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
ok first of all what the fuck
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
