Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
