You can't special order awesome
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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