there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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