I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize