Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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