my mouth tastes like poor choices
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
