2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
More tranny stories later!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
