Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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