We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
