whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
