the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
