does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
