theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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