I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
