I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
