Life is so much better after having sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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