So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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