I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
