My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
