I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
