Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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