my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
