no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
