ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
