Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
