She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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