this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
