She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
