They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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