Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
