My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
