Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
