If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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