The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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