Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
