go do what you do best...puke behind churches
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just cropdusted the office
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
