I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
