Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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